Naked DS Bandit . . With Bad Eyesight!

Roughly twelve hours from my last post and I find fodder for the baby fans of the world!

B-man is smack in the middle of potty training. Early or late training? I don't care - I'm the grandma - I just want him to stop peeing on my bedroom wall! But, that is not the subject this morning. I made note of that, to say this; naked butts under three at our house is not an odd thing. In fact, the majority of my pictures must be carefully cropped so as not to show toooo much flesh (too many crazies in the world, ya know).

B-man has his morning routine already set. He scales the prison wall we like to call a crib, finds his way to MY bathroom, climbs to the bathroom counter, sits in my sink, finds a toothbrush, usually NOT his own and brushes his teeth. After that, he climbs down, sheds his nighttime diaper and climbs onto the potty. I only wish I could show you a picture of THAT! Anyone ever seen a cat who uses a real toilet? Well, I have and Brody reminds me of that cat! It's crazy! But right now, anytime the urine goes into the toilet, however it gets there, I'm a proud grandma. This though, also not today's subject. . .

After his morning routine, he joined me in the family room. Me on my computer, him on the couch. He had managed to steal his Uncle D's Nintendo DS (he KNOWS he's not supposed to touch the thing) and was playing away! I guess he decided the screen was too small and but he soon found exactly what he needed; one of Ninny's pairs of reading glasses.

So, as I looked over my shoulder this morning, my eyes beheld a completely naked grandson, wearing reading glasses, playing a stolen Nintendo DS. Thanks to my relatively new iPhone, I snapped a cute little pic I thought I'd share with you . . . naked bottom excluded. Do you think he's headed for a life of crime or just a nudist colony? I'm jus' sayin' . . .

Knee-Hi Computer Tech

Okay! Here we go!

How long did it take for the grands to give me new material? Well, only a few minutes after the sun rose but I'm going to pick a special one tonight. I am typing only because I've spent a painstaking hour and a half replacing the keys on my laptop keyboard. Sound like fun? Well, it isn't.

Which one? The two year old. Brody. He's cute as a angel, cupid has nothing on him but he is a rowdy little imp. I know better than to leave a computer in a room that isn't filled with adults at all times, yet I did it anyway. Go figure. Brain lapse I guess. I've got some paperwork spread out in a corner of my living room (make shift office), which is not where I normally place my computer, except that I recently got my wireless router working and thus, I am more mobile. A good thing right? Apparently not tonight.

Did he crawl up to the computer and not so gently pluck 10+ keys from the keyboard? Yes he did. He caught everyone otherwise occupied. Grandparents, a set of parents, an uncle and a cousin in the house and not one person discovered his evil plot to destroy my only means of communication with the outside world until well after his hot little fingerprints had cooled!

My laptop, more affectionately nicknamed by my daughter "my favorite child" is very near and dear to my heart. I could sooner go without food than without my computer. I'm sorry. I'm looking for a 12 Step program but until then, some things simply are what they are . . .

Okay, I know you're wondering, did I yell? No . . I couldn't. Ever been too distraught to yell? Well, I was but I did run through a series of teeth-clenched, Oh, no. Oh, no. No, I know you didn't. Oh my God! I know you didn'ts and even though I didn't yell at him, I think he got the picture. Ninny was a little miffed!

What makes a two year old crawl up into a chair in the corner and say "I sorry, Ninny, I sorry," and then come back an hour into your computer reconstruction surgery and lean over the back of the sofa and say "I nice, Ninny. I nice"? Only the realization that he's willfully done something horribly wrong. He's two and a half years old and nothing will convince me that he didn't absolutely know Ninny was NOT going to be happy when she discovered his work, yet he did it anyway. Why? I'm guessing because he could . . . and because he knew, the minute those big blue eyes and shiny white baby teethed smile flashed my way, I would turn to mush. . .

Okay, so maybe I didn't turn to mush instantaneously but now that he's in his little bed with his pj's on and those big blue eyes shut for a few hours of battery recharging . . . I'm about as mushy as I can get. . . I'm jus' sayin'.

Shop-Vac Shenanigans!

I am convinced that I would be a millionaire if only I knew the right person to contact regarding a reality tv contract. There are times I look at what goes on around me and I think to myself - you can't make this stuff up! The kids are running wild, the house is a mess and all is utter chaos!

Oh, I know. You've heard that before. Maybe even seen it if you've popped in on a friend when she wasn't expecting you but you haven't seen anything yet, I promise . . .at least not the way we do it at our house.

Case point. The other day I walked into my family room and as usual, the shop-vac was sitting in the middle of the floor where my two and three year old grandsons were "wapuming". All good, I'm used to the noise and the dirt that remains after they've cleaned. As a matter of fact, I'm accustomed to them dumping what was already in the vacuum out onto the semi-clean floor. It's how they help Ninny clean.

But today? Today is different. I entered the room to find my shop-vac lid off and two little boys, pants down, pointed and aimed to pee in the machine! No, I'm not kidding! Yes, I did yell out! "No, No, No, No! Stop! Don't Do it!" Okay, so, the good news is . . .they stopped. Usually, when I yell, they don't.

So, it was a good day but I'm not always so fortunate. Okay, truthfully, I'm rarely so fortunate. I have five grandchildren, two of which live with me, two others who are always with me and one which I rarely see. Yep! You guessed it. She's the good one!

Sometimes the stuff they do is simply too cute. Sometimes it makes me want to run screaming into the night, pulling my hair out. Stuff happens so much that I often post on my Facebook, MySpace, etc. accounts just to share the crazy things they do but then I realized. Some things can't be explained fully in 140 characters or less - so I find myself here.

Whether it is as I hope, entertainment and support for those who share my plight or simply therapy for a stressed out Ninny, hopefully you will see or hear something that will make you chuckle or at least sigh in relief that you are not alone! Thanks for stopping in!